the cost of regret
Created by APOLLO / Lingual Literacy, Facing Progress, Raising Awareness
- The spirit of regret
- Why regret is important
- How to channel regret to your benefit
- Writing down past memories
- Why we dream
- How to analyze your dreams
- Lucid dreaming, Normal dreams & Nightmares
Courtesy of the Apollo Art Exchange | Digital Rendering - "Le rêve bleu" (Lechatn0ir)
There will be times in your life when you experience a sense of overwhelming failure and regret. It may grip your chest whilst ceasing any chance at rest as it consumes your thoughts, emotions and sense of self-worth simultaneously in a sea of uncertain insecurity.
We shouldn't fight these feelings; Allow the fog, guilt and shame of regret to wash over your body like a consequential cleansing. Breath so you may begin to reflect on the implications of what has happened.
Did you let a close friend down?
Has a promise been broken?
Why did your plans and perspective fall short of the end result?
What caused this?
These are not simple questions to answer. One may lead you to a path of self discovery while another may pull you right back beneath the previous hell you've endured. Despite the path which lay ahead it is important to recognize that the tragedies in life are exactly what strengthen our personal resiliency; Life is a continual story of building yourself back up despite the endless tragedies you face.
As we experience more throughout life the feedback provided by these memories work to single out the most beneficial options. This becomes paramount in order to prevent stepping in the same pit twice. This is the exact reason why risks are extremely important; Risk provides a set of game rules for growth in a particular direction. Failure (and the sense of regret which may accompany it) then becomes even more paramount to growth than risk itself.
First we must recognize that we cannot get back the time we have lost.
Secondly we must recognize that the choice to dwell on such decisions only consumes more time into your increasingly important future.
Finally we must recognize what has happened and what we’re going to do in order to lessen the likelihood that it will happen again.
I’d like to suggest a method I’ve discovered from JBP. He’s a clinical psychologist who has gained a rather immense following across the social media platform YouTube. This method or exercise is rather simple yet infinitely impactful when approached with an attentive and open mind.
Write down the memory of your source of regret carefully and completely
Now you're probably thinking: "Why would I do this? It makes me cringe! If I write it down, I'll remember it forever!"
What use does forgetting provide?
It's like discovering mold on the walls of a new home. Should we simply paint over it and risk it's spread like a virus left unattended?
I ask again: What use does forgetting provide?
One may argue that to forget is to reduce and remove what's causing the negativity. Do we really think this is true?
If you see a snake and you close your eyes, is the snake still there?
Self-awareness is paramount to preventing another event or source of regret; When we remain ignorant to the causes of our suffering we risk bringing about an even greater degree of negativity. This holds a high potential of snowballing and burying us beneath its emotional implications
Write down the memory carefully and completely; Why has this happened?
As we grow through life there will be an inevitable tide of change within you and everyone you know. When we make continual changes to our daily lives it requires a level of sacrifice and personal revision which may be exceptionally hard. After all, when you change a habit you are putting a part of yourself into the fire in exchange for a new spirit like a phoenix.
You must not resent yourself through the natural spirit of regret; Grow, Learn and Rise like a phoenix
Next I’d like to discuss the idea of dreams, the act of dreaming and the purpose of the dreamscape in relation to our day to day lives.
The setting or location of dreams is what I’ll refer to as the dreamscape. It is arguably a fictional realm with seemingly endless possibilities; The dreamscape can be compared to the idea of imagination itself as it ebbs, flows, creates, plays and destroys entire scenarios within an instant. Within this realm time may dilate to extreme degrees as it holds no consistency with the way time passes in the real world
When we ask ourselves what the purpose of dreaming is one may easily find themselves confused. However after reconsidering our primitive and primal roots one finds everything they need to know.
Dreams create and recreate scenarios for us to encounter in order to prepare ourselves for the unknown
Our brains reconstruct a novel or explored experience with all five senses of sight, sound, touch, smell and even taste. When we think about this it sounds quite remarkable that our brain holds the ability to not only create entire worlds with conscious experiences but to do so while simultaneously controlling time.
The realm of the dreamscape is meant to force us to confront our problems in hopes of sparking a change in action while awake. If we think about this in a primitive sense we can imagine our ancestors dreaming of large predatory cats, snakes, and eventually other humans. These can be imagined as prophetic visions created for your defense.
Dreams in the modern context have become quite confusing.
When we combine the immense complexity of our daily lives to the construction of dreams it often results in incoherent and irregular experiences. For example, you may begin a dream in a massive mall yet when you turn around you’re now in the living room of your childhood home; An almost endless list of factors impact the complexity of modern dreams
If this all is true then what should we do about it?
Should we allow the callings of our dreams to continually haunt us at night? Or should we begin to watch, listen and learn from our personal dreams?
Your mind is trying to show you something… are you listening?
Let’s run through a simple example of how to analyze a dream.
You’re on the 10th floor of your work building. You get into the elevator and after a few seconds of a rather calm descent the elevator suddenly plummets to the ground and you wake up in a sweat.
Then let’s assume that you’ve had this dream six times in the past week. What can we make of this strange dream? What could we learn from the story which our brain has shown us?
Perhaps you've suddenly come to the realization that the reason you’re always anxious in the elevator at work is because you have a fear of heights or a fear of the elevator itself. Only by contemplating on both the dream and its importance to your day to day life will you discover the key to solving a personal problem; Don’t ignore the content of your dreams
Finally I’d like to share the way I think about Nightmares, Regular dreams and Lucid dreams. When I consider the way in which these three categories play out in the Dreamscape I find it highly reminiscent of a spectrum of control.
In the nightmare you have little to no element of control. Endless clowns, killers, lions and ghosts may be chasing you yet your feet won’t move. Perhaps you’re watching something bad happen yet your voice refuses to work. We can think of this as the end of the spectrum with the lowest level of control.
In the regular dream you have a limited level of control. You may be walking through a familiar environment interacting with people and objects but then seconds later you’re on the beach overlooking the ocean. We can think of this as the middle of the spectrum which does not necessarily result in a negative or frightening experience.
In a lucid dream you are mostly or completely in control. You may change the environment at will as well as the people, objects and interactions happening within. We can think of this as the end of the spectrum with the highest level of control.
Enter the dreamscape at your own risk; I wish you the best of luck traveler
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